Tips for Mindfulness and Change from a Virginia Therapist

So, we all want to do things better. We all say we are going to do things differently this time. Or, we are going to create new habits and new ways of doing things. Then, it does not happen! Or, we make an excuse to not do it differently. We say we can not change. We say it is too hard. It really is not worth it. Then, we get worried and anxious about how we are not doing what we say we want to do or what we think we should be doing. So, how can build some better habits and not beat ourselves up? How can we make time for what we want and not create more anxiety for ourselves? Like everyone always says, “be mindful”, but that is always much easier said than done. Besides, what does that mean anyway?

Mindfulness Matters

Well, that may mean just being aware of what we are doing when we are doing it. Do something and not focus on a lot of other things when we do this one thing. So that we can actually be present while we do it. This means that even the task of making decisions in our life can also be mindful. Paying attention to what we are thinking and doing. Paying attention to our thoughts and feelings. Allowing our thoughts and feelings to be present and without judgment. Without criticisms. That may be the hardest part. Allowing ourselves to make small changes is also allowing us to make really big changes.

Practical Tips for Mindfulness and Change

True mindfulness is simply moment-to-moment awareness. But, sometimes, we are overwhelmed and even that is too much for us to handle. So, here are a few other small changes that you focus on.

Reading.

By far the best of any habit you can have. Reading gives you the ability to shortcut your learning curve and provides access to the best minds in the world. Reading gives your mind the ability to create a world all its own. Use your imagination to see the words on the page. Creating your own world and getting lost in the words on that page and waiting to see what is coming next learning something new. Reading is fun and fund-a-mental!!

Exercise.

The second most important habit. But, you don’t need to be a gym rat to exercise. Engaging in daily movement that challenges your body is the best and cheapest antidepressant. Take a 5-minute walk around the block. Vacuum the house (sigh)…so, not any more fun than the gym but, it is exercise! Do a 7-minute yoga routine. Ride a bike with your kid. Play kickball. Play in a sandbox. In all forms of exercise, be prepared for the difference in how you feel.

Calling someone on the phone you miss.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you miss. Yes, you have been putting it off and it will feel better to put it off one more day. Or, will it? Nope, it will not. So, go ahead and call them! They will be so excited to hear from you. You will be so excited to hear from them. Remember, to not call them when you are doing 10 other things though! Call them when you can give them 5 minutes of uninterrupted time.

Say ‘yes’ to something that is outside of your comfort zone.

Challenge yourself. Something big or something small. Challenge yourself to do something you would not normally do. You will find that more often you will start enjoying this and looking for bigger and bigger ways to challenge yourself. So, yes the phone call itself is a challenge. You got this!!

Say ‘no’ to something that constantly takes your energy.

This can be hard. We are taught not to say no. That it is rude and we want to be included and be a part of things. We want to do everything! However, we need a chance to recharge and know our limits. Saying no is not always a bad thing and we can say no to things that take our energy and do not support us. These are boundaries, and boundaries are easy to set but hard to maintain. Somebody will ask us really nicely and then we are doing it and then the next person, and the next, and so on…Learn to say no and be ok with the boundary. Then, you can give everything you have within that boundary.

Celebrate wins.

The accumulation of small wins creates the momentum for big wins. Celebrate a win every day. Keep track of these wins somewhere so you can see the wins so can look at your successes. If we focus on our success, we are much more likely to continue than if we focus on our failure. We all have small wins every day something really good that happens to us that we can celebrate. Something sleeping in for 15 minutes, getting to work 5 minutes early or before your boss, getting a haircut, calling a friend, helping a stranger out. All of these are things are wins for the day that we can celebrate doing.

Using Mindfulness to Make Small Changes

These are just a few things that are small things that can create change in your everyday life. Making small changes over time creates big changes. Being mindful of what we are doing allows us to create these small changes as it will allow us to stay calm and focused on what is truly important to us. If we can consistently make small changes to our lives and thoughts, we will make big changes to our lives over time. Rivers change rocks not by force, but by consistency. They flow over them and around them and eventually, change them and move them.

If any of this sounds familiar, a free 15-minute call is a good place to start. Get in touch.