People often say that perspective is important, and it is important to how we solve and look at everyday problems. This was pointed out to me very acutely in a conversation once about trees that taught me about changing perspective.
The Tree
A tree was growing close to my father’s house. So close, in fact, that the roots were destroying the foundation of the house. The tree was massive and tall and beautiful. It provided shade for the house and a home for birds and squirrels of which there were many. It was straight and tall, and it is a magnificent tree. The roots ran deep and were coming into the basement, so my father fixed the basement of the house. He hired people to come and repair the damage to the house and strengthen the walls of the basement he worked the pipes and made many accommodations for the tree.
Many people including myself told him to stop fixing the house and cut the tree down. The tree was a problem. If he would fix the problem, he would not have done all this work. I remember he gently shrugged his shoulders smiled at me and said. “I can always get another house, but I can never get another tree as magnificent as that one.”
It was at that moment that everything changed for me. I knew that I was looking at this problem wrong. I was looking at the tree as the problem, but it was not a problem. It was a valuable thing that was needed…the house was also valuable and needed. But, of the two, which one can truly be replaced?
Yes, the tree could be replanted but would it grow back as it is to provide the shade and beauty that it does not now in the lifetime of my father, probably not and the tree was about 100 years old give or take some years. The house could be rebuilt not to its original but again it would probably be rebuilt better as building materials and things have improved since it was built so…
Therapy, Past Trauma, and Changing Perspective
I tell stories as a way of acknowledging how we often get stuck in looking at problems a certain way and we may need to back up look at something very different in order to be able to see it differently.
I think that therapy is often like that as well. Sometimes we get stuck in our past traumas, and we lose our perspective of what good things are still possible through healing. Trauma therapy gives us a different view of things and a chance to see things in our past from a different perspective. A chance to see which item might be the tree and which item might be the house.
Two Tips for Changing Perspective in the Moment
The Two Hands
One way to find out if we need to change our perspective on things is by bringing your hand all the way up to your face and place squarely in the middle of your face. Now ask yourself what do see? Not much right? Now slowly bring your hand away from your face to the point that you can see the room around you? Our lives often feel like that with a problem in our face and we feel or believe that we cannot move it but we can. It just takes a little bit of perspective. Just shifting the focus of our attention, a little so that things are not so close to us that we do not know what we are looking at anymore.
The Three Chairs
Another way to change the perspective is to move to a different location in the room or to even imagine yourself in a different place. Place 3 chairs in a room and give the chairs different names of places or people or times. Then go stand in that place and look toward one of the chairs.
Tell that first chair everything you want to say about the current feelings you are facing. Let the chair have it! Tell it everything you can think of about the feelings of trauma, hurt, anger, sadness, or anxiety. Whether silly or small, let those feelings come out in that moment, and feel your perspective start to shift.
Then move to the next chair, and tell it everything about how life was before trauma was such a controlling factor in your life. All the great and glorious things about life before the trauma. The feelings of happiness, being in control of your life, and not living with anxiety and fear. Feel your perspective start to shift yet again.
Finally move to the third chair and be kind, thoughtful, and most of all honest about what was said to the other two chairs. Look at what your feelings from your newfound perspective and honor those feelings in a productive way. Only positive and helpful things should be spoken to the final chair. Gain a new perspective about the possibility of healing past traumas and getting back to those positive feelings. It CAN happen.
This exercise can be so helpful to allow us to see things from a different perspective or place. Being able to see the world in a different way can allow us to change how we are thinking about things. And to be able to say something out loud so we can hear how that sounds to other people shifts how we approach our own feelings of trauma.
Closing Thoughts on Changing Perspective Through Therapy
In today’s uncertain world being able to shift our perspective or change our point of view, even if only slightly, is even more important. Being able to understand the perspective of someone else helps us keep going and give us hope that change is possible. As opposed to being locked in a stalemate of frustration and confusion because we can’t see past our trauma. If we as people, can learn to have even small shifts in our self-perspective, we can help encourage the cycle of change within ourselves and break us free from the chains of past trauma.
So recognizing what the tree in your life is and understanding what the house is can be more challenging than not sometimes. We need to step back, step away or step to the side. Sometimes we just need someone like a therapist to point something out that we had not thought of yet. Perspective… it changes everything.
If you would like to see what kind of perspective change you can start in your life reach out today.
Ready to Start Online Therapy in Virginia to Change Your Perspective?
The help you’re looking for is here. Trauma is treatable, even the symptoms that keep you from living your best life can be healed. With guidance from our skilled therapist, you can begin the journey of changing your perspective and overcoming past traumas. Healing is just around the corner! Start the process now with therapy from my Powhatan, VA-based counseling practice with these three easy steps:
- Get connected and schedule a free consultation call
- Start sessions with a caring online therapist
- Begin your counseling journey and grow into your best self
Other Services at Gray Horse Counseling
Online therapy is not the only service we offer at our Powhatan, VA-located therapy practice. Our other services at Gray Horse Counseling include individual therapy, group therapy, equine-assisted psychotherapy & learning, and equine sports. Further, we offer clinical supervision to counseling professionals in a school or looking to broaden their knowledge. Our specialties also include anxiety and depression, as well as healing from trauma. Learn more about us by checking out our FAQs, and reading more about us. Then, contact us to get the help you deserve!