We live in a culture where things are expected to go one way, and generally, if they do not go that way, we find ourselves wondering or thinking something is wrong with us.
We have some very high expectations about how things should go. This can look like a tendency to look at illness; if we do this, then there is a straight line to finish. We may also consider the adage that the shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line. The straight line is rarely the case when healing from an injury, especially when recovering from a trauma.
We may even be inflicting a second trauma on ourselves by expecting to heal quickly and easily from a traumatic event. The healing process is often one step forward, one sideways, one back, then one forward. Healing does not follow any particular timeline; we may feel well past that stage, or when something may happen, and we realize we have not managed or dealt with those feelings. Since trauma is personal and varies for each person, so does the road to recovery. Complex Trauma, which is trauma that has occurred multiple times over time, is different from a single traumatic event. The road to recovery will still include regaining a sense of safety, processing the memories, and building hope for the future.
Trauma recovery often occurs in four stages, during which individuals work to re-establish their sense of safety and security, process their traumatic memories, reconnect with values and joy, and build hope and resources for the future. These stages are often not linear, but they can provide a framework for healing and support after a trauma.
Restoring safety
The first step in recovering is often just re-establishing a sense of internal and external safety. Internally, this is learning to listen to our bodies about what is scary now or does not feel safe. PTSD often involves nightmares and intrusive thoughts and avoiding certain places or things because they do not feel safe or they are overwhelming. We may want to minimize the effect of the trauma by keeping the doors locked or not driving for a while. These strategies may help with reestablishing a sense of control and safety. We may also want to establish routines and connect with family or friends who will be supportive. Setting boundaries for ourselves early on is essential to help with this sense of safety. Learning techniques to help us stay in the present moment or be mindful is also necessary in this stage. Learning to pay attention to ourselves and provide self-care is also essential.
Grieving
Traumatic events frequently involve some form of loss, which may complicate recovery. There are generally accepted stages of grief denial, bargaining, depression, and anger acceptance. They do not follow a linear process either and often overlap and move around quite a bit. So, as we move through the grieving process, we also move through the trauma of grieving. Remembering and retelling the traumatic event may be helpful in this stage, and finding a therapist to help with remembering and mourning is essential.
Integration
The third stage is time to start putting things together to move forward. It integrates skills learned to help stay safe and in the grief process with current situations. It is learning to manage the current stress level and recognizing how much has changed. This stage is often mixed with going back to grieving and safety as we move forward. They are setting goals and life after the traumatic events start to take shape. This stage is full of movement and desire to find meaning and purpose in life again.
Consolidation
This is the stage of focusing on purpose and meaning in life. This could be exploring new interests, setting new goals, or re-establishing relationships. This does not mean forgetting the traumatic event or events; instead, finding ways to live with the trauma. This stage is more about acceptance. Therapy in this stage helps to reframe and challenge negative beliefs that may have developed as a result of the trauma. This stage also involves Developing adaptive coping skills to manage future events.
These are stages and are not linear in the experience.
Like in grief, we move around a lot based on what we are experiencing. It is essential to be patient with the process and allow the moving forward, backward, and sideways. It is necessary to find a therapist to help with trauma that you can connect with and feel supported. Techniques that can be useful in working with trauma include EMDR, CBT, and Equine Therapy.
EMDR is very useful in helping to reprocess the memories and lower the distress experienced when thinking about the trauma.
It also allows the client to create inner resources for future events and reduce the distress of engaging in events. There are eight stages of EMDR: 1 history and treatment planning, two preparations, three assessments, four desensitization, five installations, six body scans, seven closures, and eight reevaluations. For more about these stages, please see my previous articles about EMDR.
Cognitive Behavioral therapy involves addressing some of our negative beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and the world.
These beliefs may keep us from doing things we want or keep us stuck in negative thinking. This therapy helps change how we think about ourselves and the world. Acceptance Commitment Therapy focuses on values and actions to allow change in how we think and feel.
Equine therapy is another experiential therapy that allows you to build a connection with horses.
This therapy will enable you to interact with horses, which are intuitive and responsive to our emotions. They will often reflect what we are experiencing and may not be aware of the impact. Equine therapy is helpful with trauma. It requires us to find a way to communicate without using words. It also allows us to find a sense of calm in ourselves that we may not have experienced previously and build relationships with ourselves. Please see my other articles for additional information on the benefits of equine therapy.
Start Working With an EMDR Therapist in Powhatan, VA
Healing from a traumatic event takes time and patience. It will be messy, and it may feel that no progress is being made. I have found that looking forward at how far we have to go often intensifies these feelings of inadequacy and that sometimes it is better to look back at how far we have come when feeling stuck. Healing will sometimes feel stuck, and it will feel like no progress is made or even regression; however, healing is possible. If you want to discuss how I can help with healing, please get in touch with me. Start your therapy journey with Gray Horse Counseling by following these steps:
- Contact me and schedule a free consultation.
- Check out my FAQs and read more about me
- Start healing from past trauma!
Other Services Offered with Gray Horse Counseling
EMDR therapy isn’t the only service offered in support of your mental health. I’m happy to offer in-person help in Powhatan, Richmond, and online in Virginia. Other services at Gray Horse Counseling include individual therapy, anxiety therapy, group therapy, equine sports, clinical supervision, equine therapy, and depression treatment. Check out my FAQs, read about me, and contact me today to get the help you deserve!