“Kindness is the only service that will stand the storm of life and not wash out. It will wear well and will be remembered long after the prism of politeness or the complexion of courtesy has faded away.” —Abraham Lincoln
“That is what compassion does. It challenges our assumptions, our sense of self-limitation, worthlessness, not having a place in the world, and our feelings of loneliness and estrangement. These are narrow, constrictive states of mind. As we develop compassion, our hearts open.” —Sharon Salzberg
Compassion and kindness are both important components of connection.
If you are not compassionate with yourself or kind to yourself the chances are that connection is also lacking. Connection is common in the human experience. In modern society, we talk about our relation to each other and ourselves. You may be asking what it means to be connected to our self. This is an easy and complicated answer: If we are connected with ourselves, there is generally a little bit of security. Security comes with that feeling and a sense of trusting in ourselves to know what is good for us. We may be able to articulate that we feel connected to ourselves; however, it may not feel that way.
Since 2020 and the pandemic, our sense of connection has changed. I believe that we have realized how important it is to connect with people and that human touch or connection is vital to our mental health. Also, during the pandemic, we discovered other things about our society and ourselves. Some good and some not-so-good. I will save that discussion for a different post. Our sense of connection is something that needs to be nurtured and cared for.
One option to gain more connection with ourselves could be equine therapy, as the primary focus of the treatment is to connect with a horse. However, before you can connect with the horse, you must connect with yourself. This could be a bit of a circular problem. Equine therapy allows us to reconnect with ourselves and thus improves our connections with others and allows us to heal.
Equine Therapy for Trauma
In trauma cases, some events/ event have occurred, and a sense of safety and peace is generally lost. This can often leave you feeling disconnected and distrusting yourself or others. We often say, “Well, how did I let that happen?” or “Why me?” implying something is wrong with you when there is not. Not trusting ourselves can erode all our relationships and increase our isolation. It is easy for this to become a loop that we get stuck in isolating and not relying on. This also leads to increasing anxiety and depression, which can feed the thought we need to separate and not trust ourselves. It becomes increasingly hard to believe anything positive about ourselves. Talk therapy does just that: “talks,” changing and feeling differently. Horses change this equation.
Equine therapy allows observe the horses interacting with one another and then interact with them.
In these interactions, you build a connection with the horse and yourself. It takes trust in oneself to believe you can ask a 1200 lb animal to follow you through a maze, step over obstacles, or let you paint pictures or words on its fur. Trust, respect, and doing are also occurring as you do each of these things. While it can take time to feel the confidence the horse may have in you or your trust in yourself, it will start with a connection with the horse and strengthen each interaction. Equine therapy does not require that you explain yourself to the therapist, only that you show up for the horse.
In doing this, your connection with yourself changes and can grow stronger. The horse does not judge or control. It does not laugh or mimic. They have no expectations, and they will respond in kind. The horse gives you a chance to see yourself differently and to react differently. They allow you to see you can trust not only yourself but also in others.
For Riders
Connection is something that is so very important in riding and sometimes very elusive. We get the connection with reins and saddle, and we are often asked to have a connection with the horse. That is where things sometimes run amuck. As riders and athletes, we often pressure ourselves to be correct and “just so.” It can sometimes cause us to lose sight of the point of the sport to have fun and enjoy ourselves. So what would spending some time with the horse you are not riding do for you with the one you ride? You might be surprised at what happens. If you allow yourself to spend time with a horse you do not have to ride, what can happen might be surprising.
It is often the case that not being able to make a connection with a horse is related to not being able to make a connection with ourselves so making the connection with ourselves is the sticking point and what needs to be addressed. So, taking away all the expectations of riding and just observing horses enjoy each other’s company can help you find a way to enjoy your own company. Being able to find a way to “speak” to them will allow us to find a way to “speak” to ourselves and change what we say to ourselves. Changing what we say to ourselves and what we believe about ourselves will ultimately allow us to have a deeper connection with ourselves and the people and animals in our lives.
Equine therapy is always about experiencing change.
Change is scary and makes us step outside our comfort zone. The comfort zone is only comfortable because we know it, and if we allow ourselves to embrace slightly different, we can create a new comfort zone. Change is often scary because we do not trust ourselves to look out for ourselves, and trusting ourselves is always about believing in ourselves and being connected to ourselves.
Being Equine Therapy in Powhatan, VA
If you want to feel a different connection with yourself and have not found a way to do that, equine therapy may be the thing: no judgment, expectations, or criticism. When we are connected to ourselves, we can connect to others and share the joy of being who we are. As an equine therapist, I would be happy to offer support from my Powhatan, VA-based practice. To learn more or schedule an appointment, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact us by calling to schedule a free consultation
- Check out our FAQs and read more about us
- Start experiencing the benefits of equine therapy
Other Therapy Services Offered by Gray Horse Counseling
Equine Therapy is just one of the many mental health services offered at our Powhatan, VA counseling practice. We are available for in-person help in Powhatan and online in Virginia. Our other services at Gray Horse Counseling include individual therapy, anxiety therapy, group therapy, equine sports, clinical supervision, trauma therapy, depression therapy, and more. Check out our FAQs, read about us, and contact us today to get the help you deserve!
If you want to make some changes in your life or your riding life, I would love to connect with you about how we can accomplish that. Please get in touch with me for more information or to schedule a consultation.