The shortest month of the year has at least two big holidays to celebrate. So what are they?
Well, Groundhog Day is first, which gives us something to look forward to: Will the designated groundhog in Pennsylvania see his shadow and bring us six more weeks of winter, or will he tell us the fantastic news that spring is right around the corner? The winter blahs will soon give way to spring’s light warmth and bloom. So we eagerly await the decision from a well-trained weather prognosticator, a groundhog. So this holiday is generally fun and gives one hope that the furry weather man will be correct as most of us are ready for spring and summer’s longer days and warmer temperatures.
The other holiday in February is Valentine’s Day.
This day can often be eagerly awaited or unwanted. Why does one day seem to bring such intense feelings on both sides? Its current interpretation may revolve around one of the most intense emotions. Love.
So the true history of how we got to this day is clear as mud water as with most ancient customs, it appears to be named after three possible saints named Valentine or Valentus. These three men all defied the Catholic church to promote love and kindness. The day was then combined with another pagan holiday about fertility and love and has steadily grown to the day for love, couples, and romance. (for additional information about the history, check out history.com) So, a day that may have started to be about love and kindness has turned into a holiday that causes anxiety, stress, and depression. So how do you manage the stress of this holiday, either if you are excited about it or you dread it coming and want to hide until March?
Below are ways to help with negative thoughts and feelings that can come with Valentine’s Day.
1 Avoiding social media
It will be flooded with pictures of “everyone” else with their Valentine, the perfect date or time they have planned and created. Social media often helps create a feeling of FOMO and inadequacy that is not based in fact. We all want a lot of likes and responses to our posts, and if we do not get them or are searching for what other people are doing, we are not focusing on what we have and what is important to us.
2 Gratitude
If you are not in a romantic relationship currently, you still have many other relationships and people you care about. Focus on your other close relationships, and recognize things you are grateful for. Also, if you have other single friends, it may be a great time to get together and do something fun. This may be closer to the original meaning of Valentine’s, of love and kindness.
3 Self-Care
We hear this constantly, but it does not mean the same thing to everyone. It could mean going to a movie, spending time with friends, walking, or having a spa day. Self-care is about doing something that brings you joy and helps you rejuvenate yourself. Please read my other blog about self-care for additional ideas and thoughts about self-care.
4 Clear communication
Valentine’s Day has the uncanny ability even to make those in a relationship feel sad or depressed. Clear communication and realistic expectations about the day are ways to avoid this. Clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings about the day is important so as not to create resentment about unmet needs. Also, having realistic expectations about what will happen that day is important. If our expectations are unmet, we will likely resent the person for not doing enough or knowing what we were expecting. If we do not tell someone what we are thinking, they will have no way to know what we are thinking.
5 Change thoughts
We tell ourselves that self-talk is very important in how we feel and think about ourselves. If we tell ourselves that we are not important and that we are not cared about, it will only increase our sense of loneliness and depression. A simple way to demonstrate this is to say something negative about yourself in your head and then repeat the same statement in the voice of your favorite cartoon character. Chances are you will laugh at the statement. Thus, just because we think it does not mean we have to believe it or that it is true.
I think the song goes that “love is a many splendid thing,” and it is.
It is something we all seek in our relationships. Love is much more than just a romantic relationship. So, as we await to see if the winter will continue for six more weeks and or if spring will blossom early, we may want to share some love with ourselves. These suggestions may help us to remember that each of us has the capacity to love. We have the capacity to show kindness and generosity not only with others but also with ourselves. These qualities are the ones historically that Valentine’s Day was intended to celebrate. This could be the year to change how you celebrate this holiday to show love and kindness for all.
Start Working With An Equine Therapist in Virginia
As we wait to hear if winter will hold its grip on the world or if spring will bloom early, it may help to remember that we accept the outcome either way. If you need help managing relationships, depression, or anxiety and you would like to discuss this in more detail please contact me. You can start your therapy journey this Valentine’s season with Gray Horse Counseling by following these simple steps:
- Contact me and schedule a free consultation.
- Check out my FAQs and read more about me
- Start showing yourself the love you give others!
Other Services Offered with Gray Horse Counseling
I understand that folks can experience multiple mental health issues at a time. This is why I’m happy to offer a variety of mental health services. I’m happy to offer in-person help in Powhatan and online in Virginia. Other services at Gray Horse Counseling include individual therapy, depression therapy, anxiety therapy, group therapy, equine sports, clinical supervision, trauma therapy, and equine therapy. Check out my FAQs, read about me, and contact me today to get the help you deserve!