Can We Talk About Depression and Anxiety?
Can We Talk? That is what comedian Joan Rivers used to say. It was her catchphrase. She would use it for almost everything, and people would also use it for almost everything sarcastic. I want to talk about some serious things, however. Specifically, how are you doing these days in your mental health? I know many people may have asked you that lately, but I want to ask you that a bit differently. I know the last two years you have had to deal with a pandemic. The world suddenly shut down, and lots of things went awry.
Then your kids, teenager, or college student, did not go to school for a while and had to do everything from home. That was cool at first, but then it got old. It went from getting old to downright hard. And then it got awful. After a while it became normal. When they said you had to go back to work or school, maybe you didn’t want to. You went back anyway, but it seemed weird or different. Now everything seems different. What happened? How did all that change happen? How am I so uncomfortable around the same people I was okay with just a year ago? As a therapist at Gray Horse Counseling, I have seen these scenarios firsthand.
What am I feeling?
I do not feel like I have depression or anxiety, but something must be wrong with me because I do not want to do anything. When I get around people that were my friends and whom I had a great time with previously, I suddenly feel like I do not fit in. I do not know how to act, and I worry that people will look at me. I was not always so self-conscious. I could make jokes about myself and not worry about it, not now. I go home, and it does not feel better there, either. At home, I feel like I should be doing something else. Maybe I want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.
Sometimes I can get energy from drinking a bunch of Starbucks Expressos, Red Bull, or even 5 Hour energy. However, as soon as it wears off I’m down game over. That is not normal for me. I used to do things, and I even enjoyed things. People enjoyed being around me. So, I know there is something wrong I am just unsure what is wrong or how to fix it. So is it depression or anxiety, and how do I tell the difference between them? What if I have them both? Does that make me “crazier” or “mentally ill”? Will I get more disorders?
The short answer to both questions is no. However, let’s take a closer look at depression and anxiety symptoms and treatment and see how much they overlap. This often leads to co-occurring disorders and overlapping or similar symptoms.
Here are the major symptoms of depression:
- depressed mood
- lack of interest in enjoyable activities
- increase or decrease in appetite
- insomnia or hypersomnia
- slowing of movement
- lack of energy
- feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- trouble concentrating
- suicidal thoughts or behaviors
- feeling hopeless or pessimistic
- feeling sad, anxious, or hopelessness
- irritability
- loss of interest in hobbies or pleasurable activities
- Trouble thinking or focusing
So yay, we have all felt those for a day; however, to be diagnosed with a major depressive disorder, you will need to have experienced 5 or more symptoms for at least 2 weeks, according to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). You would also need to be assessed by a mental health professional (which is not the point of this blog but rather to give you information). It is important to rule out any pre-existing medical conditions. These can include thyroid or heart conditions that can affect mental health and can often cause depression. There are many different degrees of depression. These are dependent on the length of time, feelings, severity of symptoms, medical conditions, substance use, family history, and social support that will affect treatment and diagnosis.
Symptoms of anxiety include:
- excessive worry about things going wrong
- restlessness
- being easily fatigued
- trouble concentrating
- irritability
- sleep disturbance
- muscle tension
- Overwhelmed by worry
- Cranky or on edge
- Sweaty or shaky
- fear of losing control
- frightening thoughts
- fear of injury, illness, or death
- feelings of detachment or unreality
- racing thoughts
- situation avoidance
- poor concentration
- feelings of confusion
- becoming easily distracted
- poor memory
- hypervigilance regarding potential threats
These symptoms can range from annoying mild and occasional say for the interview when we want to do well to the more extreme of daily and interfering with the ability to function in daily life for worry and fear. Again, medical conditions, family history and social support, and substance use will also affect diagnosis and treatment.
Depression and Anxiety often show up as physical symptoms as well:
- moving or talking more slowly than usual
- decreased energy
- feeling restless
- difficulty concentrating
- difficulty sleeping
- appetite and weight changes
- aches and pains or digestive issues without another cause
- The physical symptoms of anxiety look like
- elevated heart rate
- palpitations
- shortness of breath
- rapid breathing
- chest pain or pressure
- feeling of choking
- dizziness and lightheadedness
- sweating
- hot flashes or chills
- digestive upsets
- shaking
- tingling or numbness in the arms and legs
- dry mouth
The Push and Pull of Depression and Anxiety
With depression, the body is trying to slow down, and with anxiety, the body is speeding up to get away or respond to perceived threats. The nervous system goes into the fight, flight, or freeze response in an attempt to be prepared for whatever is coming because we have told ourselves that something is coming. For the past two years, we have been told that something is coming to be prepared. Then things changed again.
With anxiety, there is an element of fear that does not always present with depression or may manifest itself differently. Anxiety is worry or fear of something in the future; however, depression is often fear or sadness about something in the past. If you have something pulling you and something pushing you in the opposite direction simultaneously, you will be what they call stuck!!
This often happens when we often find ourselves worrying about something that we did and then afraid to do something because we may make the same mistake again. We find it hard to forgive ourselves and show any compassion for our own behavior. Generally, we can give others much more forgiveness and kindness than we give ourselves. Learning to show ourselves the same gratitude and give ourselves the same forgiveness as we would other people is what can happen through therapy and treatment. Becoming unstuck and learning how to move with the ebbs and flows of life while keeping a course can also happen in therapy.
I Have Depression and Anxiety, Now What?
Accordingly, now that we know all of this, what will we do? It is so much easier just to sweep it under the rug and say that there is nothing wrong and continue with the same ole thing, right? I believe that would be the definition of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting different results. Hence, if you want different results, you must do something differently. Yes, I do realize that going to see a therapist could be and is a really scary thing saying your secrets to someone you barely know.
However, the perspective on that is also that the therapist does not know you either!!! So, it can be nice to have somewhere to place the things that you know will be safe, and you can come back and talk about them later. In that space, there will be no judgment and you will have one person that is looking out for your best interests, whatever they may be.
You Are Not Alone
Approximately 60% of the population has symptoms of either anxiety or depression. Each condition can make symptoms of the other get worse or last longer. It is important to find something that will help to address both problems. The most effective therapeutic modality for this is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or some form of this. This modality addresses thinking and behavior and allows you to change your thoughts about yourself, the world, and the future.
So the cognitive distortions that we tell ourselves to allow ourselves to continue a behavior that we know are not good for us or that we do not want to do. Therefore, for example, if we want to eat a cookie but we say that cookie crumbs have no calories, and we only eat the crumbs, then we are fine. So, we tell ourselves. This type of thinking is not helpful to us, and we do it all the time. Therapy can help us learn how we do it and how to change it.
Depression and Anxiety may have more in common than they are different. They often appear together. If one is present, the other will be somewhere around. Dealing with one only leaves room for the other to show up more fully. Treating causes of trauma that could be triggering depression or fear that could be triggering anxiety and depression will be helpful. Recognizing that the last 2 years have been tough and now may be the time to find someone to help with all the things that you have been dealing with is important. We all need someone to talk to sometimes so Can we talk…..
Ready to Start Depression and Anxiety Treatment in Virginia?
Your childhood was crap. With therapy at Gray Horse Counseling, your future doesn’t have to be. I work with adults who have dysfunctional families (family life). When you were a kid, your family life sucked. So, you’ve adapted to behave at home and out in public very differently. This “split” that worked so well for you as a child is no longer working, and the pandemic just drove home the fact that your coping skills are nonexistent. How do you live a more congruent life? How do you deal with that internal conflict?
You want to be more authentic in your connections, but this internalized trauma response keeps holding you back. I get it. Your childhood was crap and you didn’t get a chance to truly figure out who you are. It wasn’t safe to be YOU anywhere. Now, this is affecting your relationships, friendships, work relationships, family life, children, how you feel about yourself, all of it.
Back then, you didn’t get to tell anyone. As an online therapist in Virginia, I get to be that person for you. Maybe how you ended up coping with this childhood trauma led to, chronic depression, anxiety, and unmanageable addiction. Let me be clear, there is no right or wrong way to cope. But, these coping skills are no longer serving you the same way they used to. So, let’s figure it out. Consider online therapy in Virginia, individual or group therapy, or meet me for equine-assisted therapy in Powhatan, VA, Let’s get this stuff figured out so you can finally live a better life. Today is the day. What are you waiting for? Contact me now.